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About ayurchenko

guy who enjoys hearing God speak through music

War in the Time of Peace – Wolves At The Gate [Types & Shadows]

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This has been an incredibly productive and fruitful season for me. Despite all of the chaos going on in my world, I’ve reigned in as much as possible in my life and honed into a path forward. I don’t know exactly where I’m going, but I’m preparing the way as feverishly as possible.

What’s happened in my life recently? Quite a lot! I’ve taken on leadership roles at work and church, the ministry group that I’ve started has nearly reached 100 members, I’m at my leanest and strongest physical form to date, and I’m currently in the transition phase of moving to a completely new role at work; moving across the US between projects and adventures. Life is definitely shaping up nicely.

Through all of this growth, a message has been on my heart since the start of the year; one that I received on my 16 hour back from my family Christmas. I spent several weeks consistently lost in thought trying to bring order to all of the chaos in my life; that drive was no different. And as this song came on in the midst of that.

Marching alone where I don’t belong
Tapping along in the dark before the dawn
Nothing is wrong, ya’ hear
Abandon the sound of the captain’s call
Grabbing my gear as I jump the wall before, before nightfall is here

I, I’ve crossed the line of the great divide
I heard your orders
I sneak past land mines
Watch them with each stride
I know the borders

Stumbled upon to the battleground
Search and look for the fight but a white flag’s all I found
It’s all I’ve found out here

I know, I know (I know, I know) you said you’ve overcome
I think it’s time I joined the fight

Lay down your arms, young one
I realize it’s hard to see the war is won, my son
You must see the war is won over and done

Caught in the snare of the rival’s jaws
Digging in deep as it rears it’s vicious claws
I guess my fight is here

What have I done? (What have I done?)
I’m trapped and all alone (all alone)
I’m bleeding out and fading quick

Footsteps draw near (Could this be it?)
Is my death now here (Could this be it?)
Who’s this that’s come for me in this dying and desperate state?

Lay down your arms, young one
I realize it’s hard to see the war is won, my son
You must see the war is won over and done
Over and done
DONE!

Rough hands are placed upon me
I’m far too weak to fight and break myself free

I was chasing apparitions
What’s wrong with my volition?

Just as my body floated
I dread and fear what is this stranger’s motives?
What have, WHAT HAVE I DONE?

I opened up my eyes to see the stranger bore a dear old face
And water filled my eyes, it was my captain that I had disgraced
I turned to look away in shame
But in tender words you called my name

“See I bear the marks that fought the war!”

Lay down your arms young one
I realize it’s hard to see the war is won, my son
You must see the war is won over and done
Over and done
YEAH!

I felt a tug on my heart and just played this song on repeat for several hours, weeping at a new part over and over again. Being one of my favorite albums, this wasn’t the first that I’ve heard it, but this is the first time that this song cut deep into my psyche. It’s stayed on my mind for nearly 9 months now and I need to address it.

Like many of my favorite songs, a dialogue is formed with the lyrics; this one being an allegory for man and the Father through the lens of a soldier and his captain. Wolves at the Gate showcases this style of conversation through song with Steve Cobucci’s masterful writing on songs such as The Father’s Bargain and Grave Digger.

Through the entire song, a soldier is itching for a battle when there is none to fight. And despite his captain telling him that he has already fought the war for him, he still wants to prove his worth on the battlefield. He goes against his captain’s orders and sneaks out onto the battlefield, full of mines and traps, looking for an enemy to fight.

I see that soldier’s heart as mine, eager to prove himself on the battlefield. I know that the war is won, the battle for my soul ended on the cross with Jesus’ blood. Not only do I have salvation, but my Father’s love… outside of anything that I have done to earn it.

That is something that has always been difficult for me to comprehend: God’s undeserved grace. I am unworthy of this acceptance into my Father’s family. I’m told that it’s as simple as “believing.” It can’t be that easy, there HAS to be more to the story; but that’s exactly what the apostle Paul tells the Ephesian church: it is the gift of God, not of works that we are saved.

I have often felt like the prodigal son, unworthy to return to his father’s home: “I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants” (Luke 15:19). But God’s response to our return is not one that is expected, but apparent foolishness. He grabs his tunic and sprints out to meet us halfway as soon as He sees us returning on the horizon. And instead of giving us a set of expectations to meet before returning, He throws a feast for our and forgives us as if our betrayal had never occurred.

I know all of this. I’ve studied scripture and have had this dug into me for my entire life. But somehow, a prideful part of me still believes that I can earn something all on my own. And as soon as I quit partnering with God through the authority that He has given me, I get burned out, tired, and frustrated that I can’t get things done exactly as I want; forsaking this part of my prayer: “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” My realization of my position in His family slowly gets muddied and I go out in the world, facing struggles that I don’t need to face.

There are quiet parts of this song where the guitar strums in the background like an adrenaline-pumped tick in the back of my head, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. I can’t seem to sit still and NEED to be doing something. This is too quiet and peaceful for my liking.

And through that, I step out onto the battlefield. The war has already been won, but the mines and traps are still laid away from the safety of home base. I fall for the traps of the defeated enemy because I’m wandering the battlefield; forgetting the warning to the Corinthians to be wary, lest we fall for Satan’s devices (II Cor. 2:11).

And yes, those traps clasp around the leg as soon as we wander into one. It feels like the end at every failure we get caught up in. But the Captain still returns and surely He shall deliver me from the snare of the fowler (Psalms 91:3). That terrifying grasp on our shoulder is our rescue, not our demise.

The patience that our Father has for us is outstanding. Like this song loops back between verses of every new venture in wanderlust paired against the captain’s rescue and sincere urge to lay down our arms. The war is won, He bears the marks to prove His sacrifice. That just needs to sink in a little more.

Personally, I need to remind myself of this daily. Yes, there’s a time to plant and water seeds, but there’s a harvest to enjoy. The war is won; we are part of our Father’s house. Let’s rejoice and celebrate that! Whether it’s working in a ministry, building my character, or making breakthroughs in my career, taking a moment to thank God and meditate on what He’s already done helps get my head on straight and turn my anxiety for the future into excitement.

This song is a fantastic reminder to stay grounded to the truth and not wander too far. I’m so glad for Wolves At The Gate for not only this song, but the rest of their discography that I hold dear. I finally got to see them live last year! Here’s a few videos from that concert (All credit goes to Dylan Stearman for those).

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.

Luke 15:20-24 NKJV

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9 NKJV

Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”

Luke 10:19‭-‬20 NKJV

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about LIKE a roaring lion, seeking whom he MAY devour.

I Peter 5:8 NKJV

Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.

II Corinthians 2:10-11 NKJV

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence

Psalms 91:3 NKJV

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

John 8:36 NKJV

Blessed be the Lord , Who has not given us as prey to their teeth. Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; The snare is broken, and we have escaped.

Psalms 124:6‭-‬7 NKJV

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Indeed I, Paul, say to you that if you become circumcised, Christ will profit you nothing. And I testify again to every man who becomes circumcised that he is a debtor to keep the whole law. You have become estranged from Christ, you who attempt to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace. For we through the Spirit eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love.

Galatians 5:1‭-‬6 NKJV

Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10 NKJV

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9 NKJV

Meridian – August Burns Red [Constellations]

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This song has left one of the biggest marks upon my life. Before you give this a listen, let me tell you the backstory before I found this song. This is the defining moment of my life, characterized by one of my most endeared songs.

3 years ago, I was spending my summer break from university in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania with my closest friends and family. I was having the time of my life; a picture-perfect scene. My early adulthood was being spent camping, adventuring, and growing with my closest friends. I had my dream car, a full ride scholarship to university, and was starting to get shredded. My spiritual growth was amazing as well! I was full of pride with who I was and walked with an air of confidence.

And then on July 14th, 2016… It was all wiped away.

I was driving my standard 100+mph on some Amish-country backroads, when I lost control and spun out into a telephone pole. I SHOULD have died. The rescuers, onlookers, and hospital staff all expected me to die. My parents got a call from the hospital, being told that they probably wouldn’t be able to make it in time to say goodbye. And if you take a look at the impact, you would understand why. I took the entire brunt of the crash onto my body without so much as an engine block to cushion the blow.

But by the grace of God, I survived. And through the power of prayer, I went through recovery without any permanently debilitating injuries.

But even if I survived, I had lost everything. My dream car was folded in half. My internal organs were crumpled, and I broke my face, jaw, and most of my lower body. As a result of those injuries, I lost 50lbs of muscle and the ability to walk. And to top that off, I was using this tragedy to mask the fact that I flunked out of school and wasn’t returning.

The picture that I so carefully crafted for everyone around me had been shattered. Everything that I built my image and pride upon was gone.



I had been completely broken, and it was completely my fault. It was my own pride and arrogance had led me here. The sands that built my foundation upon had shifted in the storms, and I was left with nothing.

But whose fault it was didn’t mean that I wasn’t upset at God; oh no! He had put conviction on my heart, but couldn’t He have just prevented the wreck instead? He had already saved me plenty of times without so much as a scratch on my car, so why didn’t He do that again? I had personally seen Him give sight to the blind, so why didn’t He heal me faster? My prayers never ceased, so why didn’t my flesh and bones spontaneously rebuild?

I spent hours a day in the hospital toiling with God, trying to find out WHY this happened to me. Why doesn’t he heal me? Am I too stupid to take the healing that the stripes on His back had paid for? Or had my disobedience surpassed His tolerance for me?

Despite all of this though, I put on a smile for everyone that talked to me. I was the perfect picture of a miracle by the hand of God, so I had to act like it. But deep down, there was a frustration and anger welling up.

Eventually, I started regaining muscle and learned to walk again. I said goodbye to all my family in Pennsylvania and finally came back home to South Carolina, where I continued my recovery. I tried to go through rehab and just move on with my life, but I couldn’t get past the shame of what I had done. No longer was I known as the guy with the sick sports car, but the one who foolishly smashed one to pieces. And the people around me didn’t help; EVERYONE that I saw brought it up. And why wouldn’t they? It was an incredible testimony… But I was sick and tired of looking back on it.

Instead of having a reverence for the miracle, I only felt shame. And to add fuel to the fire, being around my dad made me feel like a failure of a son. When I was young, my dad promised me that he’d spend savings he set aside for my college fund on the car of my dreams if I got a full ride to university. But I threw both of those away. And instead, I left behind nothing but medical bills, heartache, and a man-child that was incapable of helping himself.

I wanted to get away from the constant reminders of what I had become. I despised myself, and most days, I wished that I would have just died in that car accident. So much of my time was spent imagining the tiny details of the accident that could have changed that would have let me die in peace.

And every time that I drove to my dad’s pickup to physical therapy, I wondered how quickly I could end it if I just swerved into the oncoming semi in the opposite lane. Nah, that’s too dangerous; I’d hurt someone else in the accident. Maybe I could slit my wrists? That won’t do either; I’d traumatize whoever found me for life. Poison? Same story. You know, I could run far away, and kill myself in a way that would leave me unidentifiable; my family wouldn’t even know that I was dead! Couldn’t do that either, that’d leave them searching for the rest of their lives on false hope. There just wasn’t a good, clean way to get rid of myself. The only thing that kept me from taking my life was knowing that I’d only increase the burden that I was already being.

And one day, I finally quit putting on an act and broke down. I barricaded myself in my room, blared the most brutal death metal and hardcore that I could find, and wept on my bedroom floor, crying out to God. And as I was crying out to God “Father, do you even love me anymore?,” my dad kicked down my door and started screaming at me. In that moment, I felt like that was a physical manifestation of God’s answer to me: He hated me.

My parents called the police to try and forcefully get me into a mental care facility, fearing that I’d take my life. My parents cried and told me that they didn’t know how to help, and honestly, I didn’t want them trying anymore. I declined the ride to the hospital from the EMT’s, and the police couldn’t forcefully take me, so I stayed. And the next day, after hearing about the incident, my sister opened up her home in Texas for a fresh start; I immediately jumped on that chance to get out.

And from there, I packed up, and moved across the country to start anew.

I still hated myself. And when I wasn’t at work, all I could do was spend my time drowning out my sorrows with loud, emo music and videogames.

I was still talking to God, but I wasn’t some pillar of faith. I had so much doubt and fear. It felt as if I had fallen so far that I could not come back. There was still the tiniest parcel of hope within me though.

And one day, I was just sitting there listening to music, when this song comes on.

August Burns Red is one of my favorite bands, so this wasn’t a new song for me, but in that moment, I felt it resonate with me for the first time. There is very little lyrical content to it, but I could feel the journey with the instrumentals preceding and following these lyrics.

The people who survive the sword will find favor in the desert [Jer. 31:2]
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt [Jer. 31:4]

I am the painter, making this mess a masterpiece
I will rebuild you up again

I felt God speaking to me, directly. He was telling me that all hope was not lost, and that He would build me back up to my former stature. I put that on repeat and broke down weeping on the floor for an hour, unable to grasp that.

I held on to that so, incredibly tight. That song lulled me to sleep every night. And a sticky note on my bedside dresser reminded me of it every time that I woke up. Those words were the anthem that I sung, day in and day out. That instrumental journey described what I was going through. It wasn’t a straight path upwards, but instead up and down. The drums and guitar would slowly build and grow with me in my periods of growth, and then they’d get chaotic in my breakdowns and panic attacks. But through it all, I kept going, just as the song did. The journey was just as important as the destination.

From there, my faith started to grow. I started to read my Bible again, I found a church, and I was putting the pieces of my life back together.

It started out small. I cleaned up my room for once. Then I organized my closet. After that, I started working out again. From there, I started studying for work. I’d get out of my comfort zone and meet people. I even started volunteering at church for the first time in a long while. It wasn’t all easy; I had my ups and downs. But that melody just kept reminding me that despite the battles, the downfalls, and stagnation, I was on a journey.

And slowly, but surely, I was rebuilt. And once I had realized that, I was overwhelmed. I looked down at myself, and saw that I was 160lbs again; able to walk, run and jump as if nothing has happened! My faith and relationship to God was not only restored, but better than ever. And I was making something out of my life for the first time, instead of being handed a loaded deck.

God is good. And He will never abandon me, even if my ego takes me down a different path. And from here, He only has bigger plans for me. Once, I thought that I had fallen so far, that I could never get back up again. But now, He has built me up so much more than that point, and He’s still not done.

I am so grateful for the guys from August Burns Red. Through this song, and many others, they built me back up, and gave me hope for another day. Songs like Spirit Breaker, Composure, and Redemption shined a light into my periods of darkness.

Since all of this had happened, I was blessed to see them twice in Dallas. I am so glad that I could not only see them live in concert, but meet them in person!

This last tour for their 10-year anniversary of Constellations, they played Meridian live for the first time, and it was incredible! During that song, I was walking through that journey all over again. It was one of the most surreal feelings that I have ever experienced; it was a supernatural encounter that I could feel my spirit rejoicing in His glorious mercy. That reverence that I couldn’t feel before was flowing for an even bigger miracle than keeping me from death; the restoration of my spirit.

In Due Time – Killswitch Engage [Disarm the Descent]

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Lyrics

Pacing aimlessly,
With my mind in unrest
Unsure of what may come.
What have I done to bring this down on me?
Helpless to make this undone

All in due time, see the world through different eyes.
All in due time, the shadows will give way to light.

How much more can I give of myself,
As these walls close in on me?
As I slip down in to this despair
(Into this despair),
There is nothing to attain

What victory
(What victory)
When my soul is weak,
(Is weak)
Where does my help come from?

All in due time, see the world through different eyes.
I see the world through different eyes.
All in due time, shadows will give way, give way to light.

All that we suffer through leads to determination.
The trials we all go through gives us the strength to carry on.
Something within us burns, desire feeds the will to live.
A reason to believe I will see redemption.

All in due time, see the world through different eyes
I see the world through different eyes
All in due time, the shadows will give way to light.
All in due time.

Personal Impact on Me

This song is a song that is resonating with me the most in this season. About a month ago, I started getting anxious. I found myself unable to sit silently (whether I was doing nothing, or some menial task), and had to be immersed in a YouTube podcast, Amazon Prime show, or some other distraction. Knowing my history, I thought this need to distract myself was a coping mechanism; like I was avoiding something in my subconscious that I needed to address.

So, I was standing there ironing and having this conversation with God:

“Why am I so anxious? Why am I trying so persistently to occupy my mind? What are you trying to tell me that I’m drowning out?”

And as I was standing there, listening… I just felt a peace surround me. I felt the Holy Spirit urging me not to worry; I was anxious for what great things He is preparing, not from something that I was hiding.

That revelation brought me peace; knowing that there wasn’t something inside of me that needs to be fixed. My spirit was just groaning and fidgeting in anticipation of what big things God is preparing for me.

And as I was basking in that revelation throughout the week, I had this song, In Due Time by Killswitch Engage, come up in my Spotify shuffle on my drive to work.

I had some Killswitch Engage saved on my Spotify, but I didn’t listen to them all too often. My introduction to the band through Adam Dutkiewicz’s side project (Times of Grace) was more of a mainstay in my listening than the main band because of its more Christ-centered focus. But this song, hit me hard in with what I was going through.

The instrumentals do a fantastic job of laying the groundwork for the shift in mood. From the guitar chugging personifying a draining struggle, to the release into softer guitar in the solo, to the triumphant drumming adding to the rhythm at the end.

Lyrically, the song does the same thing. The dichotomy between the clean and unclean vocals also builds a nice contrast. Between the screamed lyrics showing desperation, to the clean chorus giving reassurance, this song gives a good foil between the opposing voices speaking to us.

From the opening lyrics about the anxious struggle of trying to keep my mind reigned in, this song personifies my frustration well.

Pacing aimlessly,
With my mind in unrest
Unsure of what may come.
What have I done to bring this down on me?
Helpless to make this undone

That’s exactly what I go through when I’m anxious and stressed out. My mind is racing, but I don’t know even know what I’m so consumed by; that uncertainty for my future takes its toll. And despite knowing that everything going wrong is usually my fault, I feel helpless in pulling myself out from where I landed myself.

Another set of verses show how trapped I feel sometimes. Spending every ounce of energy in my body to just stay afloat in moments where everything around me seems to be crashing down.

How much more can I give of myself,
As these walls close in on me?
As I slip down in to this despair
(Into this despair),
There is nothing to attain

But despite all of my emotions weighing down on me, there’s still hope. That’s where the main chorus really encourages me.

All in due time, see the world through different eyes.
All in due time, the shadows will give way to light.

Despite the pain that I might feel in the moment, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I just need to focus on that. That brings me back to Philippians 4; a powerful chapter for me. I’m reminded to focus on His promises and what is worthy of praise. Readjusting my optics and focusing on His grace and provision really helps me to find the peace to realign and get back on track.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4 : 8-9 NKJV

Going further into the song, these verses give me hope, even in my weakness.

What victory
(What victory)
When my soul is weak,
(Is weak)
where does my help come from?

My weakness just shows His strength through me. If I was strong enough to get through this all on my own, why would I need a savior? It reminds me of the story of Gideon. God showed His might through Gideon, a judge who told the Lord that he wasn’t strong enough. And not only did He work through him, but the Lord told Gideon to cut his numbers over and over again before facing the Midianites, lest the men of Israel think that the won the battle on the merits of their own strength. But through their impossibly meager numbers, God’s strength was shown in the victory.

That story is also summarized very well in 2 Corinthians.

9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12 : 9-10 NKJV

That last line in those set of verses comes straight out of Psalm 121, and is so encouraging. It reminds me that His hands are ready to catch me whenever I fall.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121 : 1-2

These struggles that I go through may be draining, but remembering that there’s growth past them gives me strength to carry on. These following song verses really remind me of that.

All that we suffer through leads to determination.
The trials we all go through gives us the strength to carry on.

So many great lines to digest! These immediately made me hop to Romans 5 with these verses:

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5 : 1-5 NKJV

Though we are not subjected to trials, tribulations, and pain by our Father in Heaven, he works everything together for our good, and these become opportunities to grow us. James also gives some good insight on this.

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

James 1 :2-4 NKJV

And the second half of those set of verses also gives me insight on myself and the anxiousness within me.

Something within us burns, desire feeds the will to live.
A reason to believe I will see redemption.

There is something deep within us that is yearning, burning within us to go onward. These verses tie in so well to the Apostle Paul’s words to the Roman church! Firstly, we as His children are groaning expectedly for our redemption in Him. Our spirits long for the day that we are free from our flesh holding us here and can spend eternity with Him, unrestrained by our sinful nature. And just as I long for the ending of my story here on earth and move on to heaven with my Father, I look forward to the types and shadows of His love here on earth; His love, blessings, and joy being manifested now.

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23 Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

Romans 8 : 18-25 NKJV

And finishing up that section, these verses tie back an earlier part of the song.

26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

Romans 8 : 26-30 NKJV

That section of Romans was standing out the most to me with this song. The Holy Spirit intercedes for me, even when I have no idea what I even need to pray about. And despite how it feels in the moment, EVERYTHING works together for my good. And lastly, there’s redemption; not only once I’m done here on earth, but while I’m here as well. This passage really encourages me to keep going.

And tying back to the beginning of my post, God has been confirming that word that He put on my Heart. At a young adults service, we all gathered together to pray for each other in the Spirit and speak what was put on our hearts. And through one of my friend’s friends, He spoke prophetically to me:

Be calm, I am preparing something great for you… and I am not preparing just one thing, but several things are in store for you.

And to top that off, both my friend, Drew, and I both received this word afterwards.

Give praise in the waiting, even if it’s not here yet

So I’m encouraged to keep going, even when my circumstances don’t align with His promises in the moment. He keeps his word, so I’m rejoicing in what’s yet to come.

I’m using this song as an anthem to keep my spirits up. It helps tie in these verses in my head, and I’ll continue to go back to it to remind me of the truth, despite any pain that I am going through. I just have to be sure to not get lost in my endless pacing back and forth for too long.

And to end this post, I’ll leave this

9  Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6 : 9 NASB

Welcome to My Journey

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Thanks for joining me!

I’ve started this blog as an expansion on several notes that I have been doing on my own.  Throughout my life, music has always been one of my most intimate ties with the voice of God speaking into my life.  Taking a look back and reflecting on His voice speaking gives me hope to keep going and focusing my eyes on His presence in my life.

Throughout this blog, I will be showcasing songs across several genres and topics that have made a big impact on me.  With these songs, I’ll go into how they’ve affected me, as well as the scripture that they point me back towards.

I see You in everything, all day
And every beat of my heart keeps reminding me
I see You in every little thing, all day
No matter where I go I know Your love is finding me
I see You in everything
You’re all up in everything

— TobyMac